DOLLAR STAYCLUB

MEMBERS-ONLY · EST. WHENEVER · YOU DID NOT SIGN UP

YOU'RE ALREADY A MEMBER

Resort stays from $99. We are not going to pretend that is normal, and we are not going to hide what it costs you. The catch is below, in bigger type than the price.

WATCH THE FILM
MEMBER #000000 · TIER: EVERYONE

THE LAUNCH FILM · 2:32 · SOUND ON

STILL OPEN, UNFORTUNATELY

READ THIS BEFORE THE PRICE

THE CATCH

You will sit through a 90-minute timeshare presentation. A real person will really try to sell you a real thing. You can really say no.

Then you get your room, and you go swim. That is the entire arrangement. Ninety minutes, a man named Dale, then you go swim.

Qualification requirements apply (age, income, marital status for couples). If you would rather not do any of that, book the room normally and pay the normal price. We will not be offended.

TONIGHT'S PROGRAMMING

PICK YOUR ROOM

Four stays. Same catch on every one of them. The price is the price.

FROM $99
ORLANDO, FL
Illustration: a resort water park with a waterslide and cabanas

CABANA CLUB

  • 4 nights at Westgate Lakes Resort & Spa
  • 4 tickets to Treasure Cove Water Park
  • $100 dining credit, no strings we haven't already told you about
FROM $99
MYRTLE BEACH, SC
Illustration: a seaside boardwalk pier with a ferris wheel

PIER PRESSURE

  • 3 nights oceanfront at Westgate Myrtle Beach
  • Family Kingdom amusement park passes
  • The boardwalk is right there. That is not a feature, it is geography.
FROM $149
GATLINBURG, TN
Illustration: a cabin lodge in the Smoky Mountains

SMOKE SHOW

  • Cabin-style stay in the Smoky Mountains
  • $150 gift card handed to you, in your hand
  • Water park on site. Mountains outside. Dale, briefly.
FROM $399
ORLANDO, FL · TOP TIER
Illustration: a futuristic theme park at night

THE PENTHOUSE

  • Stay + Epic Universe park tickets
  • The expensive one. We are aware.
  • Still cheaper than the pillow menu people.

HOW THE CLUB WORKS

THREE STEPS

01

YOU TELL US WHERE

Name, email, mobile, and which room you want. Thirty seconds. We call you back like it is 1987.

02

NINETY MINUTES

The presentation. Dale. A danish, possibly. You say yes or you say no, and either is genuinely fine.

03

YOU GO SWIM

That is the whole club. There is no fourth step. There is no Titanium tier. There is a pool.